So here’s the Deal, I am Pro Breastfeeding(no secret to my Facebook friends), I believe with all my heart and soul that it’s the Biological norm, I believe everyone should breastfeed his or her babies without a second thought! I believe that Breastfeeding it not only the biological norm for babies but also believe breastfeeding to term (some call it extended breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding etc.) is also the biological norm!
So right about now I can see your finger hovering over the “delete this blog” button, but please hear me out, this isn’t about blog post aimed at polarizing or shaming, its not about judging women or preaching to every women that has ever fed their baby a bottle of formula, its about finding a balance.
My Facebook friend Becki over at Indigo Whispers posted Facts about Breastfeeding photo on her page asking if people found it offensive and a lot of people had strong feelings about it.
It’s got me thinking:
Breastfeeding should be the biological normal for mothers and babies but its not, why? Because the truth is we have lost the skill and generational knowledge that once was instinctive. We no longer have the supports of extended families, we no longer see our female relatives feed at family gatherings , we no longer have our extended family stepping forward to wetnurse when we are sick or unable to maintain and milk supply.
We women folk have lost our instinctual and leant behavior to breastfeed! This in turn has made breastfeeding bloody hard work.
I see it like trying to teach someone to drive a car with a blind fold on, you put them in the seat and get them to hold onto the steering wheel but apart from that they have NO bloody idea what to do next, they have no sense of where they are in space, they feel alone, even afraid and the outcome will surely be disaster if the blindfold is not taken off by a Nurturing and supportive hand.
Its NOT rocket science people.
BUT, when you add all those years of methodical and subliminal brainwashing from the Billion Dollar baby formula industry, the pressures of our modern, fast paced and chaotic lifestyles. A Recipe for women feeling guilt, shame and as if their bodies are failing them sadly comes next.
Most women know Formula was never invented to be a mass produced product, but because of all I mentioned above it is and what has happened in the process is, the Skills of Breastfeeding are being lost.
So now we have some of the most tragic Breastfeeding rates in the world and increasing rates of Postnatal Depression, we are obviously doing something wrong, we are failing women and children. Then once we have failed them the first time, we then fail them again by judging and pitting them against each other as we debate the pros and con’s of different infant feeding choices
We also need to teach women its okay to make choices and not have guilt around those choices. We need to ensure that the information that women get is universally the same and that the support that is available is actually viable and HELPFUL. We need location targeted support services; we need informed and educated medical professionals that give sound research based and helpful advice. We need to respect informed choices; but most of all we need to stop with the bickering, and the Misogyny.
Women need to find a different way communicate with each other…we need to stop drawing this line between us, Breastfeeders this side and Formula feeders on that side! Because we are doing nothing but causing harm to each other, we all need to realize that the majority of women want to Breastfeed but some don’t, some women make a informed choice not to breastfeed and who are we to judge that.
We really need to stop the pain that this division causes, the Judgments, the hate.
Then there is a war being waged by public figures like Mia Freeman, who screams from her Blog/Website Mammamia that us Breastfeeders Judge mothers who formula feed(my words not her’s), she fails to see that she is judging us(breastfeeding mothers), lumping us all in a basket, she fails to see that many of us have struggled with breastfeeding issues, not to mention that many of us have faced or are facing public judgment, ridicule and even in your face HATE!, just as she claims many formula feeding mothers have…….would it not make logical sense for her to use her public persona to actually bring women together? but no instead she blocks, bans and ridicules those of us that speak up…….so very sad.
A great blog I follow sums it up pretty well in this post Here
All of us want our babies to be healthy, happy and for them to be thriving we really are no different from each other. I have never once heard any mother say “ohh I am feeding my baby this way so they will fail to thrive”. So lets really think about this, lets think about ways we can stop the pain, ways we can bridge the gap……….maybe it could be as simple as striking up a conversation in a baby room at your local shopping center about the weather with a mother feeding her baby a different way than you do… maybe it is being a breastfeeding mother who smiles at a mother formula feeding their child as she walks past…. maybe its acknowledging that everyone is getting different levels of support and YES maybe its even acknowledging that some people make very valid choices to feed their baby a certain way……really the hate is hurting all of us, it cuts into our souls my friends, it affects the way we parent, the way you project into the world and …its destroys us cell by cell.
Be all that you can be